The Lord High Sheriff of Salisbury's SONG BOOK
THE JAILOR'S SONG
When a Felon is indited, the Sherriff is delighted
To see him in the dock. (Twee dee dee diddle-dee dee).
Though arresting you will pain us, your crime is truly heinous,
So you're sentenced to the Stock.
When a stick is made for thrashin', it may be oak or ashen,
Or even walnut grain. (Twee dee dee diddle-dee dee).
So this song I'll be singin' while this stick I am swingin'
And inflicting lots of pain !!
Sticks and stones will break your bones,
but words wiill never hurt --
(Your mudder wears chain mail)
So to using stick and stones we will revert.
I hear a beat (WHOP WHOP) -- How sweet ! (La-da de dum).
Now you might find this demeaning, so to mercy I am leaning
While getting ready to thrash. (Twee dee dee diddle-dee dee).
My reward will be handsome if you'll only pay your Ransom,
If you've only got the cash.
You won't have to scream and holler ...
It will only cost a dollar ...
If you've only got the cash.
THE LORD HIGH SHERIFF'S SONG
OH --You better not steal, you better not lie,
You better not kill, I'm telling you why:
The Lord High Sheriff is coming to town.
If you want to stay free and feeling good vibes,
Better make sure you're paying your bribes !
The Lord High Sheriff is coming to town.
He'll seize you as you're strolling
Around the Renaissance Faire.
He knows if you've been bad or good --
But he really doesn't care !
SO -- you better not steal, you better not lie,
You better not kill, I'm telling you why:
The Lord High Sheriff is coming to town !!
